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Well, our good friend Karen finally responded to my constructive criticism of her email. The original email was sent over three months ago, but let's cut her some slack - fat people can sometimes take a good while to do mundane things. I mean, she probably read my thought-provoking comments for a good few hours, then got hungry. Trip to the fridge: 30 minutes. Eating time: 2 hours. Re-reading my comments to be sure she grasped the concepts: 30 minutes. Another trip to the fridge: 30 minutes. Realization she had cleaned everything out for the third time this week: 5 minutes. Time spent controlling obesity-induced hyper-rage: 2 hours. And on and on.

I hope you get hit by a bus, asshole.
I can only assume you're a bus driver. Makes sense, they do tend to be a bit on the overweight side.

Oh come on, don't be so angry. Now go be a good little blimp and drown your sorrows in a deep-fried cheeseburger.

The funny thing is that while you undoubtedly hate me for making yet another fat joke, you're having a lot of trouble getting your mind off the thought of delicious, deep-fried burgery goodness.

Anyway, lady, get some fucking help. If my site can bother you this much, then I think it's a terrifying moment - you're actually crazier than me. Yeesh. People's opinions won't always mesh with your fat ass - deal with it.

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